"However, now I know what to do if my a/c breaks down again." --Simone
These words were inspired by Bear Grylls' response to the unrelenting heat of the Moab Desert - namely to urinate on his headdress as a sort of, um, natural evaporative cooling system. (See "Why Figure Skating Is a Good Sport Choice for Children.")
As it turns out, Bear also knows how to deal with the cold. On being stranded in the French Alps, Bear generously demonstrated how to survive falling into an icy lake. After staying in the water for a solid minute or more, discussing why it is a bad idea to stay in the water, Bear hopped out and stripped nude (including losing his very stylish Union Jack boxers). Sporting a fuzzily blotted out crotch, Bear proceeded to rub himself with snow, explaining that this actually helps to increase circulation and dry off. He then did pushups, still nude. At this point, it occurred to him to put his parka on and re-start the fire that he had built.
So why is this clear evidence that Bear should ditch the career as an adventurer and turn to figure skating?
First, it is clear that the cold really does not bother him. Anyone who rubs himself with snow to warm up will have no trouble training without gloves and then patching holes before the Zamboni arrives for an ice cut.
Second, during my short exposure to the sport, it occurs to me that the most successful skaters are the ones who are quite bright, but can turn off their brains to do some really stupid stuff in the name of athletic art. Again, I think that Bear qualifies on this count.
Third, it seems that Bear learned much of his survival skill from mountaineering trips with his father. Any parent who is (a) already accustomed to the cold, and (b) knows that a "crampon" is not just a verbal cue that PMS has arrived, might well be a formidable yet grounded Momzilla (or Dadthra, as the case may be).
So, should Bear Grylls happen across this post in his travels, I encourage him to consider figure skating. If all else fails, he can gross out the competition by biting the head off a maggot or eating a live scorpion as part of his pre-skate nutrition ritual. Knowing figure skaters, this might actually cause a few to lose consciousness or at least vomit in the face of pre-competition jitters. Hey...it's a strategy. And as Bear says, any good skater...er, survivalist will seize any and every opportunity along the way.