We are still at the Broadmoor Open, and I have two more tidbits of terrifying Momzillae to share.
First, I witnessed a full-grown woman literally sitting on a five-year-old to get her splits lower. The child looked distinctly miserable, and I was frankly afraid to look directly at the Momzilla. I figured that anyone who would do that might have some sort of demonic magical powers, and I was better off avoiding contact. In my Pollyanna efforts to extract some positive and/or learning experience from even the most horrifying situation, I feel that "Don't Squash Your Skater" might be a reasonable adage to live by.
Second, I saw a Momzilla who looked startlingly like a Klingon. Now, her bone structure is not at all her fault, and it should not be mocked. However, her long, frizzy hair brushed straight back from her prominent forehead is a malleable feature, and was clearly her choice. So the moral of this story? If you look like a space alien, for heaven's sake, try not to accentuate it.
I have one more moment to share. This one is not strictly a Momzilla moment, but funny nonetheless. I asked my nine-year-old if she would like to have her hair professionally braided. If you have ever attended a skating competition with a person under the age of fourteen, you have undoubtedly witnessed the ultra-gelled-sprayed tiny braids winding their glittery way around the heads of the little people. The shellacked insanity lasts for at least a few days, even with sleeping on them.
So my daughter's response: "No. The styles are all so garish. I prefer a bun." Garish? Who knew that Victorian England was making a style comeback?
One more day of competition down, one day to go. This one is the one where the little people (including my six-year-old) get to compete on the World Arena ice surface, with 360-degree viewing and probably the smallest person-to-seat ratio in all of basic skills figure skating. If you think an audience of 30 looks small in skating rink bleachers, try an audience of 30 in an arena that seats about 12,000. Hilarity is certain to ensue.