A few weeks ago, I was standing quietly outside the one-way mirror watching my daughter's beginning tap class. While my first-grader delights in how much noise she is encouraged to make with her feet, the rest of the dance studio is filled with tweens who gyrate in jazz and hiphop classes, or as my older daughter says, "hoochie dancing".
On this particular afternoon, one of the "hoochies" was sitting in the hall doing her homework. This particular girl is part of the dance school's "company", comprised of young pre-anorexic/bulimics who have apparently been raised to believe that wearing almost no clothes in public is a good idea. These kids spend every day after school at the dance studio, until late in the evening. For everyone who thought that skating moms were crazy, they really should spend a few minutes at a dance studio.
In any case, Homework Hoochie was sitting in the hall when her mother entered and saw her there...[cue the Hitchcockian music]...studying. Momzilla actually started screaming at this poor kid. When I say "screaming," I actually mean it. This woman was yelling at full voice, so that everyone in the building heard her. Even over the absurdly loud hoochie music coming from one of the studios.
What was the screaming about? Momzilla was chastizing her daughter for studying while she should have been in her 15th dance class of the week. Yes. When you do your mental double take, it will still be the same. This woman was actually telling her daughter that she had to choose between dance or schoolwork. "If you want to do homework, then FINE! You march right in there and tell Mr. Twinkletoes that he doesn't need to waste his time on you anymore. You're OUT of his class!"
I think this might be a pivotal moment in determining when Momzilla has gone over the proverbial edge. The day that Momzilla ranks extracurricular above curricular...well, I think that might be one of those times that Homework Hoochie's therapist will uncover years from now.