Fanzilla: Notes from the Stands

Fanzillatastic!

I love it when relatively mainstream media outlets express their Fanzilladom.  The use of the Stevie Nicks/Lindsey Buckingham/Mick Fleetwood love triangle to counter advice on office dating in Gawker today is the most fanzillatastic thing I have seen in a long time.  First, the depth of knowledge speaks to having seen the Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, and Lindsey Buckingham Behind the Music specials, as well as to repeated viewings of The Dance.  Second, linking to the awesome clip from the Tusk documentary, available only through pirated videotapes that have been put up on YouTube reveals that the author is either a) a long time fan who caught the documentary on tv in the 70s or b) part of the fan community who has circulated the video long after its initial broadcast.  I'm voting for (b).  Third, any reference to the Buckingham Nicks album, much less individual songs on it, is extremely hard core.  Trust me, I have "Holiday Road" on CD.

But the most impressive thing about this article is how the author shows how the lessons learned from the objects of one's fanzillatude can inform one's own life decisions.  Stevie/Lindsey/Mick do present a cautionary tale about office romance, but also highlight the upside.  Yes, it's bad to date the long-haired, coked out, icky drummer, because it's nasty, but it's good to date the cute guitarist with the mad skills and lilting voice, because you can sound good together, write great tunes, get into a band and get superfamous.  Note to self, find Lindsey Buckingham type to date and dump so as to get superrich and have a Behind the Candy special about Embittermints.  (Speaking of candy, don't forget to enter the contest to win like a gazillion Ring Pops here).

That said, this is an acceptable level of fanzilladom.  It's not as if the author is advocating mass shawl and platform boot purchases to woo the co-worker of one's dreams.  That might be too far, unless, of course, one is in Fleetwood Mac.  And, Mick?  Don't try it, I don't think lighting strikes (maybe once, maybe) twice.

Figure Skaters: Tougher than Bear Grylls?

Anyone who has read Momzilla: Notes from the Sidelines knows that Momzilla has something of an obsession with Bear Grylls of BBC's Man vs. Wild.  After watching Bear rub his body with snow to warm up after an icy dip in a frozen lake, it occurred to Momzilla that Bear might make an excellent figure skater.  On further investigation, however, it may be that figure skaters are actually tougher than Bear.  And this has nothing to do with the recent revelations that Bear may have slept in motels instead of lean-to's padded with pine needles from time to time.  (Truth be told, the ability to locate a motel seems like a reasonable survival skill in itself.)

No, this revelation stems from the chapter of Bear's career when he suffered a spinal fracture and was sidelined in rehab, unable to return to full physical activity for more than a year.

Compare this, if you will, to Senior U.S. pairs skater Derek Trent, who suffered a vertebral fracture in October 2006 and went on to compete at Skate America (October 2006), Skate Canada (November 2006), Midwestern Sectionals (November 2006), and U.S. Nationals (January 2007).  Check him out at Skate Canada 2006. (courtesy youtube.com)

Now, of course, it is impossible to make a direct comparison between the injuries, as Bear had three fracture sites and Derek only one.  Fanzilla is simply pointing out that the figure skater managed to perform -- admirably -- with a broken back.  So if Bear is going to fulfill Momzilla's fantasy and take up figure skating, he just may have to toughen up a bit.

Listen to the Band

At the risk of alienating my skating-based audience, I am going to begin the Fanzilla discussion with the most dedicated Fanzillae I have had the good fortune to encounter -- the cover band.  For research purposes and also to sing along to "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)" and "I'll Be Alright
Without You." I managed to catch a show by Evolution, a Journey tribute band, last week.  These guys put every other Fanzilla I have met to shame.  They know every note, every pause, every dynamic, and every idiosynchratic gesture made by their alter egos.  The lead singer mastered Steve Perry's sound, hairstyle, moves, and tight jeans in a way that only a Fanzilla could.  I'm not sure if every guy with straight black hair would morph into Steve Perry if he grew the hair out, but I know that Hugo, the lead singer of Evolution, transformed himself into Steve Perry on a molecular level while he was playing.  Seriously.

And, I have to say, I think it was a labor of love on the part of Evolution, or at least of skill and commerce.  Nothing vaguely Single White Female about this at all, actually.  Well maybe a little SWF with the Hugo/Steve Perry resemblance, which is alarming.  That said, I think that the guys used their love of Journey, plus a helping of skill, and probably some repeated viewings of the videos, to make themselves into Journey.  The funny thing is that at least two band members also participate in other tribute bands, for Rush and Elton John.  Strange, eh?  Are these guys fans, as in abbreviated fanatics, or just really good friends? 

Probably a little of both.  Moving from great admiration and respect of a performer to actually transforming oneself into said performer and earning a living from such transformation speaks a little to the crazy, since most people are not going to be cherry picked into their favorite band a la Marky Mark in Rock Star.  So, a little crazy, right?  But Evolution can count two band members (ok, one is Gary Cherone) as fans of their work, and they probably help sell more Journey albums and generally promote the band in a meaningful way.  Them's friendly, no?

This does happen a little in skating, but not to such extremes.  We won't be seeing skaters grow out their hair to resemble Philippe Candeloro anytime soon.  That said, the partners of Artur Dmitriev are an illustration of the art of imitation.  We all remember Artur Dmitriev and Natalia Mishkutienok, gold and silver medal winners, creators of that famous spin where she is in a split under his leg, and all around good sports.  Once Natalia retired, Artur found Oksana Kazakova, who bore no resemblence to Natalia physically and did not try to, but who imitated Natalia's moves just like Hugo imitated Steve Perry last weekend.  Of course, it came off as a strange Dmitriev-as-Svengali moment, rather than Single White Female, but, believe me, it wouldn't be tolerated outside of pairs skating. 

The lesson: imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but go too far, and you're in a bad Bridget Fonda movie. 

Fan is Short For Fanatic

Prince once said that he doesn't like to refer to his admirers as "fans" because "fan" is short for fanatic, and he views his supporters as "friends" rather than insane people.  If that's true, then Prince and I are the kind of friends where I buy his products and have to pay at least $75 to be within 1000 feet of him, and we are always separated by large body guards and metal gates.  Come to think of it, I could use more friends like that -- ones who will buy my product and from whom I can be separated by large mens and metal fences.  I'll have to work on that. 

The thing Prince has wrong, other than putting out too many albums and renaming himself as that symbol, and is that many fans are in fact crazy.  There is a little of the crazy in each of us as we deal with our fandom, whether it's watching the blurred images of the Winter Olympics through no reception in a college dorm room, knowing that the Charlotte move that Michelle resurrected was originally from the Sonja Henie era of skating, camping overnight for tickets to anything, or trawling YouTube to find the routines of Klimova and Ponomarenko from the early 1990s.  So, as much as I love When Doves Cry and all of the songs he wrote with Sheila E., Prince has got it wrong -- fan is short for fanatic, and most fans have some crazy fanaticism in them (and some of them are short, too). 

So, here, we will explore the ins and outs of fandom, largely in skating, but also in other venues.  Is there such a thing as non-crazy fandom?  If so, where is the line?  Does it stop at having a small collection of newspaper clippings, or is everything up to devoting all of one's spare time and money to support one's object of admiration fair game?  Also, what is up with Dick Button?   

Important issues all.  Stay tuned.  Also, buy some Embittermints.

Another Zilla is Born

I swear, that Zilla family is multiplying like rabbits!  Or synchro teams.

It was only a matter of time before Momzilla's cousins started showing up to the scene, so I am pleased to introduce you to Fanzilla.  While this post is titled "Another Zilla is Born," I must disclose that this is not altogether accurate.  Fanzilla actually predates Momzilla by a good decade or so.  It's sort of like Star Wars.  We all met Episode IV first, but Episode I actually started it all.

Fanzilla hearkens back to the good 'ol days when the Winter Olympics were broadcast more completely (and in their full glory on Canadian TV), and when there were still televisions with dials and antennae that benefited from artful decoration with aluminum foil to enhance the snow...er...reception.  Fanzilla fondly recalls the 1994 Olympics, viewed largely from the corner of College and Elm in New Haven, when short track speed skating and doubles luge were almost as entertaining as Fanzilla's beloved figure skating, and Alberto Tomba's thighs were right up there with Brian Boitano's.

Fanzilla remembers when Bolero was a masterpiece, and not the beginning of the end for Michelle.  Fanzilla was there when Dick Button wasn't quite so blotchy.  Fanzilla loved Philippe Candeloro.  Fanzilla knew that Lloyd Eisler was a nutball about a dozen piercings ago.

So welcome Fanzilla, who will provide honest, insightful, and delightfully scathing commentary on the fact and fiction of our noble sport - past, present, and future.

And nothing goes better with a screenful of Fanzilla than a mouthful (okay - maybe just one at a time) of Embittermints.  So minty, so mean...you said it!  Check out the link and make a habit of it...a little Fanzilla, an Embittermint -- you've got yourself a great day.